


Promises, Promises

by ForgottenVice



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Dark, Character Death, Execution, F/M, Post Corypheus, Prison, Red Lyrium, Red Lyrium Cullen, Tragic Romance, Unhealthy Relationships, manupulation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-20
Updated: 2016-08-10
Packaged: 2018-04-27 07:20:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 11,543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5039038
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ForgottenVice/pseuds/ForgottenVice
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Estelle Trevelyan is watching those closest to her turn against her. She built the Inquisition and she will do everything in her power to keep it standing strong. Even if it means using red lyrium to create her own red templar weapon.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Betrayl

Her footsteps echoed down the stairwell, the silence accentuating her presence. Despite the collapse that had left the place in shambles it had always felt safe. The silence so comforting, so complete Envy's voice could not reach her here. The Undercroft had as similar effect, she suspected it had something to do with the water cascading downward towards a seemingly unknowable abyss. The why didn't really matter only the silence. It may have seemed strange that her favourite place in all of Skyhold was the dungeon, but Estelle cared little. The ghosts of those she had sent to the gallows or the block never haunted her, these days only betrayal and the demon Envy plagued her.

She had sent as many as she could to the stocks, they would await judgment publicly and all would know they had wronged the Inquisition. It was also done in a selfish bid to keep the dungeon for herself.

Despite her efforts her retreat was not empty and the silence was cut with a all too familiar voice raised in anger. "Is it my turn to be branded a traitor for questioning what we've become?" The words were distant yet familiar, she had heard them before but not aloud, not in reality. But Envy could not touch her here. This was not her mind, nor was it the fade. Her Chest tightened as she approached the guard before the occupied cell. "I am I next to be charged with heresy?"

Estelle willed her heart to become stone as she faced the man confined in her prison.

"Not heresy, but conspiring treason." Placing a hand on the guards shoulder she let some warmth into her voice. "They've warm stew in the mess. It wouldn't do for you to spend your shift hungry."

"But you're worship-" The guard tried to protest but Estelle would not let her continue.

"Your post won't be empty." She waived the anchor letting it glow, "And if I can't handle one caged Templar than what hope is there?" The guard chuckled "Go fill your belly, I'll be here when you return." She eyed Cullen letting some of her anger seep into her words "we both will."

The guard looked to her inquisitor to her former commander and then saluted Estelle before making her way towards the stairs.

Estelle gripped her wrists behind her back adopting a military stance as the guard's footsteps echoed in the distance. The silence stretched as she stared at her prisoner, eyes hard and angry.

"Why?" Her voice was strained and her facade of control slipped. She didn't really need to ask she knew why.

Despite his training, despite his experience, he was soft. Cullen was not made of steel, not like her. He would do what was needed but only to a point. Estelle found that the spymaster held together far better than the ambassador or the commander. Josephine had crumbled, refused to continue her association with the Inquisition and its deeds. She had thrown herself from the parapets, and if Estelle had helped her to do so it was of little consequence. They could not afford such weakness, Andraste herself had told Estelle that back when she still spoke to her herald.

Cullen had not crumbled like Josephine but he had buckled. It had been slow, and painful but she had watched the man's morals eat him from the inside out, and now it had come to this. She'd seen it coming. If she let him, he would be her Maefarath, not for the vanity of the original but for his own defunct morals.

It made Estelle love him. It made her hate him. She may have been Adraste's Herald but she would not burn as the prophet had. No pyre would end Estelle's crusade not unless all of Thedas was burning with her.

But he couldn't know that, if he knew that he wouldn't speak with her now. If he knew that there wouldn't be remorse mixed with anger staring back at her. If he knew that, he'd never even try to answer her question.

"You are abusing your power, making more enemies than we can stand against, and condemning innocents who disagree. What choice did we have but to try and stop you?"

"Assassination isn't your style love." She let the last word bite, he had shared her bed as he had plotted her death. She may have know it was coming but it did not mean that it hadn't hurt. He at least had the decency to flinch.

"I said stop not kill. You are the only one that can close the rifts but-"

"You disagree with my methods." She finished for him. "Though it seems you're co-conspirators feel differently about my death, two not only confessed to planning it but threatened me further. " Sera had never been subtle. It was a shame; Estelle admired the woman's knack for mischief.  "I have no proof that you feel any different than them."

"I'm no shortsighted fool," his anger dissipated as he hung his head "and I never wanted you dead." The pain that racked his voice was what she had come to hear. He didn't hate her, not completely an she needed that. She needed to use that. "I have seen power corrupt the most righteous. After Meredith I told myself that I could see such corruption coming. Yet twice I've been blinded as those I've trusted lose themselves to power."

Estelle was weary leaning her back against the bars she slid to the floor. "I am just doing my job." She couldn't look at him, she knew he wouldn't be convinced. Even if she had expected his betrayal it hurt her. " I- I never asked for this." The anchor crackled it's familiar pain lancing up her arm. Her voice cracked "Do you remember the day you gave me the position?"

He sounded wistful, "I was so proud of you that day." She heard the creak of his cot as he sat, "I was ready to follow you into the black city itself."

The silence stretched between them before she whispered "What happened?"

"You changed"

She snorted, "Of course I did. The Maker did not mean for us to stagnate as the elves do. I was made into a symbol overnight. That would change anyone. But even then you used to talk to me when something was wrong."

"Would you have listened? Would you now?  If nothing had changed if we hadn't- " He wouldn't utter it aloud, "If this hadn't happened and I came to you today would you have listened?"

"Of course."

"Would you have don anything different?" Silence greeted his question. "I thought so."

"So plotting my end was the only solution?" Her tone was venomous as she lifted herself from the floor, "believe it or not I am Andraste's Herald, what I do is the Maker's will."

"So it is the maker demanding my execution. It will be him responsible for my death, not you?"

  "I..." Her rage faded to bitterness "I'll wield the blade tomorrow, blame who you wish."

Barely audible Cullen whispered "Promises, promises." a cruel reminder of what once had been.

Estelle took a deep breath and turned to leave, as she did the echo of crystal on stone broke the silence. They both focused their attention on the small shard of red that had fallen from her pocket.

Cullen looked up eyes narrowed on her suspiciously. "Is that-"

She pulled on a glove and bent to retrieve the crystal. "Red lyrium" He cast her a horrified look. He had never approved of her taking templar training, it seemed his opinion of her had lowered still. "It's for Helisma. There are still red templars about, and the research is important." She'd never resort to the red stuff, having Envy in her head was enough trouble. Singing lyrium would leave her no time for her own thoughts.

"They are still looking for a way to reverse it." She was referring to the crystals tendency to consume it's hosts and cause madness. "It's hard to be hopeful. Especially since we can't seem to take any red templars alive." She returned the lyrium to her pocket and looked him in the eye. "I should get this to Helisma, sooner rather than later."

"What about me?"

She signed as she turned to walk away. "You'll be judged tomorrow morning, and I'll see you at the block after noon."

"I meant why not use me," she carefully turned back towards the cage. "you need a willing subject to work on the cure for red lyrium. Why not use me?"

"Absolutely not!" She was nearly shouting " You know what this stuff does to people, you've seen it! You'll be killed!"

"You'd rather chop of my head then?"

She stared at him unable to defend her anger. With no solid ground to stand on.

"Look at least this way I can still be of use."

She shook her head, "you worked too hard to get away from it." She drew the shard and held it in front of him. " you told me this was the reason why. You'd give that all up?"

"I'm dead already." She looked at him eyes darting, then she swiftly drew herself up straightening just as her tutors had taught her.

The emotion had drained from her voice, she was stone again. "You've given me something to consider. I will consult with Dagna. If it is feasible you may be spared the sword."

"Thank you Inquisitor." He sounded so calm now, so reasonable. She almost hated herself for doing this, but she would not balk.

"Don't thank me, not for this."

 


	2. Execution

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Executions can be somber an bloody when they are your enemies, imagine the toll when they are also your friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **A little more background on where the inquisition stands. I'm thinking maybe I'll end up with more chapters just a bit shorter, we'll see. For now I'll stick with five. Hopefully I can keep updating quickly too.**
> 
>  
> 
> **Cheers  
> **  
>  ~Vice

The day had been long and bloody, although that seemed almost normal now. Her own people had been paraded before her and she judged them one by one. Familiar faces knelt at her feet and all but one were sent to the block. She knew the dead would haunt her, but it was the one left alive that bothered Estelle the most.

Dagna had been excited about the prospect of a live subject. She sobered immediately when Estelle mentioned it would be the commander. Helisima nodded sagely and pointed out the practicality of using a former Templar who had been proven to resist regular lyrium. It was moments like that that made Estelle wish that she was tranquil. No morals, no emotions, and most importantly no cursed connection to the fade. Her tie to Envy would be cut, but likely so would her link to Andraste.

When Leliana read the charges it was the spymaster who publicly brought up the alternative. Estelle knew if she had done so herself she'd be seen as either callous or vindictive. The people needed to be convinced that her desire to help was sincere. It wasn't hard to look weary and remorseful during sentencing.

The only one who had objected was Varric, he had come to her angrily after the judgment but before the executions. "He's better off dead inquisitor. My people have been studying the red stuff for almost three years and they're no closer to reversing it. This is not mercy, I know you two were something but this won't-"

"What am I supposed to do? Treason demands a death sentence." She gestured to where the traitors had knelt, "Should I let them all go free so a few months or years down the road they can try again? I'm not Hawke." She was frustrated and tired, she wouldn't have mentioned the Champion otherwise. Hawke was still a sore spot for the Dwarf.

Varric shook his head, "Fine I get it, you have to assert yourself. For whatever you love you still have for Curly don't give him the red stuff."

She sighed "I wouldn't  have if he hadn't asked.  Maker help me I would have struck his head from his shoulders if he hadn't asked." She almost believed her own words, as if she hadn't planned any of this.

"Doesn't matter who's idea it is, it's a bad one."

Estelle paused for a moment as if considering the statement. "Noted. Thank you Varric, " It was a dismissal, "Will you watch the executions this afternoon?"

"Not if I can help it."

The beheadings went as well as expected, even gagged Sera spewed profanities. The increased guard kept any 'friends' from interfering. There was a time when Estelle had enjoyed the elf's company, the girl had proven useful against certain nobility. Now Estelle felt detached as she swung the blade. Plotting to kill her removed any remnants of affection she may have had for Sera.

She wasn't as close with the other conspirators. It was a shame though, Lisette had been with the inquisition since Haven and the cook would be missed. Well her cooking would be, Estelle had heard nothing good about her personality. The rest had names Estelle had easily forgotten. The crowd knew their names though, as shouts of 'traitor', 'heretic' and 'murderer' flew back and forth. At least there were still loyalists within the Inquisition's ranks.

She had retired to her balcony, a stack of paperwork waiting untouched on her desk. Envy whispered as it always did. A kingdom, an empire, even a place upon the Maker's forgotten throne. True divinity worshiped above Andraste herself. The demon had become dull, there was never anything new to taunt her with. It was a test of her faith, not that it was a difficult test. She'd already gained these things, albeit indirectly.

Fereldan and Orlais were indebted to her, the monarchs under her thumb, and what fool would want to rule the black city. Especially after what the last attempt had wrought. Demons and spirits didn't make very good subjects either, and what need had she of divinity? All bowed to the Herald of Andraste, she was as close to godhood as she needed. She'd even been responsible for getting Divine Victoria the Sunburst throne, and Madame De Fer would not forget the favour.

But if she was so powerful; practically divine, why did her friends, her inner circle, and her lover turn against her. Her grip had been as unyielding as steel and still they slipped through her fingers like so many grains of sand.

It had begun with Blackwall, no Rainier. The man who had callously murdered an entire family for power yet when joining the Inquisition had acted almost sickeningly just. She had been soft back then, she'd sent him away breaking any contact the man had with her forces.

She should have killed him. At the time she had thought the shame of exile a just punishment, since then she had learned.

Solas was the next to go, simply disappeared the second Corypheus was dead. She wasn't surprised not really, he had always seemed a little off. She regretted not getting him to help her with the mark more often, the pain wasn't intolerable but it had become more frequent after the bald elf's departure.

Cole was the one she had regretted most. The kid had been nothing but kind and helpful. She'd helped him find a more human side, he had amused her with puzzles about how he had helped. For so long the slight kid had been like a little brother, an odd little brother that could read minds. Being the youngest of seven she had enjoyed the role she'd not been given growing up. She was also sure that it was the spirit that had kept Envy at bay. The day Cole disappeared was the day that Envy's voice had bubbled to the surface of her mind.

She'd done what needed to be done, he had said she didn't care. He didn't understand, despite being able to read her mind. She did everything because she cared, because all of Thedas could be better, could be safe.

She missed him, but she would get by.

Even those who hadn't turned on her had left her lonely. Dorian had left for Tevinter. She wanted him to stay but understood why he couldn't. She sent the Chargers up to the Tevinter-Nevarra border. She couldn't keep Bull away from the tevene mage and it would have been cruel to try.

Cassandra was as loyal as ever, but even Estelle could see the woman was drinking far more often than she ever had before. This last round of executions had seemed especially taxing to the seeker.

Leliana was her only rock left. The spymaster followed orders without question. Her methods matched Estelle's and her commitment to the Inquisition was indisputable. You could never fully trust a spymaster but it seemed she was the only one Estelle could.

Then there was what had happened to Josephine, and then Cullen.

Nobody left. All the power in the world, and there was nobody left in whom she could confide. Nobody to go to, and nobody who truly cared.

She stood at the rail as the wind began to drown out her thoughts. Envy's voice didn't bother to rise above the gale as she looked down to the courtyard below. If she was favoured by the Maker would he catch her as she fell, or would Envy take her form if no hand intervened? Would they mourn her or celebrate her death? Break out the casks and dissolve everything she had struggled so hard to achieve.

They likely would, there were whispers from Orlais that they wanted the Inquisition leashed, and the Fereldan nobility made no secret of their desire to see her organization abolished entirely.

Estelle stepped back and stared at the lip of the balcony in furious silence. Those who wished her end would be gravely disappointed, she would never give them such satisfaction.

The inquisition had kept Thedas from falling apart while the nobility squabbled. Estelle had acted while governments idled, now they wanted to condemn that action.

'Let them' she thought, there were still rifts to be closed and enemies to defeat. They were doing the Maker's work and Estelle would not falter. Only a fool argues as a house burns down around him, Estelle was many things but a fool would never be one of them.

Leaving the door to the balcony open she returned to her chambers to retire for the night. Despite her efforts she slept fitfully, lost voices swirling around her carried in by cold winds.

 


	3. Changes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Estelle is beginning to see the changes red lyrium can cause.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An almost regular update schedule is shocking me probably more than it's shocking anyone else but I'm glad I've been able to keep it up. Here's a little conflict to spice it up. I'm thinking I'm going to add at least one chapter to my original plan but I think it's probably best to keep the updates short so they can keep happening quickly. 
> 
> Cheers
> 
> ~Vice

It didn't take long for Estelle's frustrations to grow. Finding the Inquisition a new commander was proving a challenge. It would have been easy to simply give the man below Cullen the rank but most of his generals still held some loyalty to him. She couldn't execute them all, not without setting many of her own troops against her. She had wanted to give the position to Ser Barris, he had been demonstrated both his competence and loyalty, but he was with what was left of the Templar fighting demons in the west. It didn't help that he was still a Templar which might make some of the regular soldiers obstinate and bitter.

Eventually she had settled for Ser Gilda, a knight champion to whom many of the troops had shown favour for. The woman was no slouch as far as leadership was concerned, and her banner had been raised for the Inquisition for quite some time. As far as loyalty to Estelle, only time would tell.

After sorting out the army she still had a mess of paperwork to deal with. She had tried on several occasions to replace the Ambassador in the months since her demise but none had Josephine's skill when it came to satiating the nobility. Estelle had even debated delegating the work to Leliana who could also play the game with ease, but the spymaster already had plenty of her own work to contend with.

Vivienne would have been ideal for the role but she was now serving a greater purpose upon the sunburst throne. Estelle had put her there and fully intended to use the connection, just as the former first enchanter was likely to use the Inquisition to suit her new holy needs.

Perhaps one of her siblings, or maybe a cousin could take the position. Mariella had always been quite adept at managing her peers. Although most of her family could be described as power hungry, and such a move would be seen as nepotism. Perhaps another bard might suit the job. Estelle rubbed her temple's, until she found a replacement all the paperwork fell to her.

Sighing heavily she grabbed the stack of papers, filled with oaths of fealty, alliance requests, and threats against her life. She descended the tower. She intended to head to the undercroft but thought better of it. It was rarely quiet and very likely that Dagna's new test subject would be there.

It's not that she intended to avoid Cullen, but seeing him still hurt. She'd never been sentimental, her rule was practical, but letting him so close and watching him abandon her had been more painful that she would ever admit.

Instead she made her way down to the bowels of Skyhold's prison. If she had to do paperwork she'd at least get to do it in silence, no Envy either. When she reached the bottom of the stairs she met one of the jailers, Henry. His presence meant she was wrong assuming that Cullen was with Dagna. It wasn't idea but she wouldn't leave, that would show weakness, hesitation, something she would not do within her own keep. Estelle had to be the rock, the Inquisition's ballast, keeping it on course. Avoiding her sanctuary due to the presence of a single prisoner was absurd, and would be used against her. She would endure as she always had.

It wasn't unusual for her to be seen in the prison, she'd long since hauled a desk down he so she could work. It was a good way to avoid her councilors, a reprieve even before Envy began its whispers. She was sure Leliana had know about it and let her be, but the Ambassador and Commander had never found her out.

She nodded to Henry and placed her stack of papers on the desk. "Go enjoy your day, see if anyone has something for you to do. I have enough paperwork to keep me busy until the next shift, no reason two of us should linger down here." Estelle didn't mind taking on trivial tasks. It did the inquisition forces good to see her preforming their tasks, it made her more human in their eyes. She knew soldiers would get nervous following someone who held themselves too high, it made them feel expendable. Even if they were, she needed them to feel invincible fighting for the Inquisition. If they believed the Herald cared about the individuals it helped. It also helped keep Estelle sane, Envy despised busywork as much as any courtier and the demon's ire brought her a sense of satisfaction if not one of peace. Even if it could not reach her beneath Skyhold near the falling water it made her feel in control, something she desperately needed.

Henry saluted and quickly made his way up to to courtyard, it seems he didn't share Estelle's feeling of peace in the prison. Then again he may have just been nervous about his single captive.

Estelle settled in sifting through the pages, managing her responses. For a time it was just her the scratching of her pen and sweet silence of cascading water. She became so enveloped in the work that she nearly spilled her inkwell when a familiar voice with an unfamiliar resonance broke the quiet.

"Come to stare at your newly made monster." She jerked away from her letter to stare at the only occupied cell. It seemed Cullen was awake, standing near the bars staring at her.

She put down her pen and shuffled the letters she'd been working on. "Just paperwork. It's easier to deal with down here, where it's quiet." He narrowed his eyes, it was clear he didn't believe her.

She stood and approached the cell cataloging what she could of the changes. It had only been a day; one maybe two doses, but still he seemed different. He was pale, tired looking. when she got closer she could see tiny flecks of red invading his irises. His voice had altered slightly too, it seemed to echo and resonate. She had no way to gauge how his strength had been affected but that was her researchers' job.

"How are you feeling?" She looked him up and down, "You sound far more reasonable than most of the Red Templars we've faced."

"You expect me to babble like a madman?" he practically sneered. It was so unlike him, the hostility he radiated was the biggest change she had noticed. It was unbecoming.

Her hand shot through the bars and roughly gripped his chin before he could react, turning it brusquely side to side inspecting his face.

"I expect," she emphasized "you will have better control than any we've battled, but I am not naive enough to believe you will remain unchanged." She was cross, he had never been hostile towards her before, even when conspiring against her. Now it seemed hostility was the only thing the two of them shared. Estelle felt as if she was chastising a child.

He jerked back freeing his head from her grasp and took a soldier's stance without looking her in the eye, "I can understand the appeal of this lyrium. It's empowering more so than regular lyrium. At first I felt ill but that faded when I began to hear the hum."

Estelle stepped back away from the bars. She had believed she could detach herself from this, from him. She was practical, separating emotion from action had always been easy for her, but now it was proving far more difficult that she had anticipated.

"Varric mentioned that his brother spoke of a song, I imagine it will only get worse." A bit like Envy she supposed, it felt oddly satisfying that he should suffer as she did. "Dagna will probably want you to sing it."

"Estelle," his voice was soft yet demanding all the same. It was the way he had used to say her name. He looked straight at her, and she only saw hurt and anger behind his eyes. "Estelle, tranquil don't lie." His tone became accusatory and sharp. "There is no cure, Helisma told me that they don't even know the full extent of even a small dose."

She slipped behind her courtiers mask, letting authority settle over her features. Despite his accusation she had done nothing wrong, made no promises. She wouldn't be defensive, only diplomatic. "Why do you think we're looking for it." She had never lied, not once. "If you're concerned I can guarantee that your sacrifice will not be without use."

She returned to her desk, there was a half finished letter to the Marquis of Serault wanting her attention.

"Is that all I am to you? Just another pawn!"  He slammed his hand into the bars to emphasize his point. They only rattled.

"Not a pawn, a knight. You will always be my knight."

He snorted "That's your real plan is it? Turn me into a weapon loose me on your enemies."

Estelle raised an eyebrow, "That depends,"

"On what?"

She gave him her most charming smile, "My enemies." She returned to the letter meant for the Marquis letting the work block out the caged man pacing only meters away.


	4. Breaking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Is it better to suffer alone or together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Clearly I just need to be better organized because it's been doing wonders for my ability to update quickly. Here we've got a little bit of Cullen's perspective.
> 
> Cheers
> 
> ~Vice

It went on like that for maybe a week. Estelle would come down in the morning and work on letters and documents until the first shift change. In the afternoon Helisma and Dagna would be down to study him. If he hadn't felt so restless Cullen might have found the routine comforting.

Then a day passed when Estelle didn't take her place at the desk. He didn't think anything of it until a second day passed without her, then a third. Her absence angered him, this was her doing and she wouldn't even witness it.

Rationally he knew she was probably off sealing rifts and winning allies, or perhaps more likely crushing enemies. No one would tell him, his guards never said a word and only approached his cage to allow the researchers access.

He began to both welcome and dread his lyrium doses. They were smaller and less frequent than standard lyrium and the lack soon began to gnaw at him. His veins burned with fire one moment and ice the next. The hum in the back of his mind would become a dull roar after too long without his new drug.

The first week had been easy, he could focus on her. Maker preserve him but even after condemning him she was his salvation. When she was there he could seethe and rage at her, often she would yell right back. Their fights had become cathartic a release for the anger building up in his veins.

It was more difficult when she ignored him, he'd felt the need to beg for forgiveness, prostrate and grovel. Wanting things to go back to when everything had been better. He never did beg, even now his pride would not allow it. Instead he paced.

With Estelle no longer around his emotions grew more intense, the rage burned brighter in his chest. This was all her doing, he should have seen it coming but Estelle had always been a master manipulator.

He had seen her bully the empress of Orlais into submission. Despite her heavy handed tendencies she could play the game as well as any Orlesian and her tactics in battle were exceptional. She'd always been so practical, every action was assessed and preformed with a reason behind it.

It made him wonder if he had been nothing more than just a tactical decision, if everything they had was just a move in whatever greater game she was playing. She had always seemed genuine, but as time passed he'd seen that same believable sincerity used to her advantage.

Sometimes he could convince himself that no, she wasn't always so cruel. It seemed that since defeating Corypheus she'd become harsher, less forgiving. Yet there was always one memory or another that would make him doubt. When he doubted his anger flared up again eventually he broke the skin of his knuckles on the walls of his cage when he let the anger win.

That was when the crystals started to break through his skin. He had known he was changing, the looks the guards gave him was enough to tell him that. He had felt the lyrium crystals pushing at the surface along his shoulders, and his jaw. He was hardly surprised the day they finally broke through.

The song got louder and he tried his best not to lose himself in the hymn. It urged him to find peace in fury but he would not give in. He had to prove to himself that he was stronger, had to prove to Estelle he was stronger. The thought brought a new wave of rage that he took out on the wall, where his blood fell new crystals began to grow and the song was amplified.

Dagna came around less and less, leaving Helisma to administer the lyrium and make observations. There had been the occasional tincture or potion, sometimes a salve for his irritated skin nothing seemed to lessen the crystal's effect, even if it did, it never lasted long.

He tried to find a semblance of control during the ministrations. He had chosen this, even if Estelle had pushed him to it. He wanted to help to maybe bring his former Templar brothers back from the edge. He was all to aware of how easily the Inquisition slaughtered them after they'd taken the red. If He could conquer lyrium not once but twice than there would be hope for the order still.

But every day that passed it seemed there was less and less hope left.

 

* * *

 

She had ended up traveling to the western approach, Venetori Stragglers had taken over abandoned warden strongholds something she could not allow, especially after defeating their would-be god. She had the Bull's Chargers meet her for the bloodbath.

The Venetori had folded quickly but the Chargers had stumbled across some northern rifts still spewing demons, which had caused a modicum more trouble.

It was good to be fighting with Bull again, to be fighting at all again. The clash of steel was almost meditation, a way to forget the troubles waiting for her back at Skyhold.

She had run out of lyrium fairly early in the expedition but she didn't worry. It had been months since she had followed any type of schedule when taking the drug, seeing Cullen affected buy it's corrupted counterpart seemed to have her waiting longer and longer between doses. Ser was sure to lecture her should he ever learn of her neglect, but wielding sword and shield again made her feel invincible, lyrium or no lyrium.

They lyrium cravings had always fought for attention with Envy's voice but they had both become easier and easier to ignore. Even the increased pain caused by the anchor seemed to dissipate in the heat of battle.

Camping had done good for more than just her Cassandra had seemed almost back to her old self, speaking with bull of her designs for the new Seeker order. The promise of enemies kept her from the bottle. Even Varric left the furrowed brows back at Skyhold taking the opportunity to relieve the Rocky, Dalish and Skinner of their pay during a particularly entertaining game of wicked grace.

It had been the return that had started the trouble. Being so long without a sanctuary Envy was an unfortunate constant. After she'd retire for the night she'd hear her companions whisper around the campfire and the demon ruminated on what sort of betrayal they were planning.

Eventually they parted ways, the Chargers heading north and her group made its way back to the Frostbacks. Each night she would toss and turn trying to throw the Demon from her thoughts but even so the paranoia persisted.

Each days ride was uneventful contributing more to her uneasiness. It was just Envy, the damned demon wanted her to tear herself apart defending from imaginary treachery.

Estelle would retire to her tent almost as soon as they made camp each night, She would pace annoyed and alone. She knew she had become unpleasant and the mood of the whole expedition soured with her.

It was only Envy trying to trick her, trying to destroy her from the inside out. If only she had some way to stop it, if only Cole hadn't left her defenseless.

"I never left." The appearance of the gangly teen startled her. He couldn't make her forget him anymore but he still could read minds and appear from nowhere. She stared, it had been months and he had done nothing. The hollow feeling she had filled quickly with bitterness and resentment.

"Then why haven't you stopped Envy from clawing at my brain. You are supposed to be compassion not cruelty.”

"I'm not, you are, but you don't want it to be you. Envy's gone. Has been gone since we met. You believe it's in you but it _is_ you." he stood away from her looking so small in that ridiculous hat. "You needed a reason so you blame Envy, then you needed someone like you so you hurt Cullen."

She had once enjoyed the his riddles, understanding Cole's thought process had been a point of pride. Now it made her head hurt, Envy was still there making the confrontation even more distressing.

Was he implying that Envy didn't exist? That it was her own thoughts? No. He was wrong, he _had_ to be wrong.“Who are you helping by telling me this.” it couldn't be her, not when a demon was still needling at her mind.

“You need to help each other, together you are stronger. The red makes him angry but you drown out the song. You want to hurt people but he makes you kind. You need to listen, or you'll both be sad.”

She gripped her head, she had loved Cole like a little brother but he was wrong. Envy was sent to test he faith. Perhaps Cole was a spirit once, even her friend, but now, the boy had become a demon too, trying to stop everything she had built everything she was building still.

She looked one last time at the once spirit and grabbed her sword, swinging it in his direction. “I am strong on my own! I need nothing but my faith!”

She stood there panting staring at the empty corner, only a small puddle of blood any proof that the spirit-demon had even been there. She hadn't killed him, but she knew he wouldn't return.

She couldn't calm herself after that, chanting _he's wrong, he's wrong,_ over and over while Envy undid any conviction with a simple doubt.

_But what if he's right?_

Sleep would be useless, she needed silence, she needed proof. Proof that Cole was wrong. They were camped a days ride from Skyhold so she made a decision.

Saddling her horse she left the camp without a word to her concerned companions. She rode straight through arriving at skyhold late the next night. Charging with a determined step towards the dungeons to prove to herself that she was stronger.

 

* * *

 

 

It had been weeks since She'd left but Cullen recognized the clipped footsteps echoing from the stairwell. His heart swelled unbidden when he saw her, his anger responded in kind.

She spoke tersely with his current jailor and the woman left with a quick bow. Estelle walked straight up to the cell bars and glared.

He could see the red rimming her eyes and the dried tracks of tears in the dirt and blood on her face. Wherever she had been and whatever she had done it seemed to weigh heavy on her. The rage he'd built against her faded all too quickly, he wanted nothing more to hug her and tell her it would be alright.

"You're looking worse." She was blunt and despite her disheveled appearance her voice was far less vulnerable. Her eyes tracked the crystals breaking through his skin, then those growing on the wall. "Is there any man left in you?"

All sympathy he'd felt dissipated. She was upset and she wanted a fight. She had goaded him before but her smile had always held a hint of mirth, a sign that she was teasing. None of that was apparent now.

"You underestimate me inquisitor." he straightened under her gaze, the rage within him swelled but he did not make a move. He used his military training to keep himself in check. She had no such restraint.

She reached into the cell and grabbed his wrists pulling them through the bars and placing them on her throat. Hate tore through him, beating in time with the pulse beneath his fingers. It would be so easy to end it all here and now but he held his fingers still. The lyrium would not control him.

After a stretch of silence he let go and stepped away from her until he hit the back wall of his cell. She stood motionless a cruel smirk upon her lips. "I underestimate no one."

She was still dressed in full armour and radiated power. Cullen had never felt so out of control, panic, anger, worry swirled through him leaving nothing but a furious tempo that beat in time with his own heart.

"What are you doing? I could kill you!"

She stepped forward face nearly touching the bars, "Promises, promises." It had been a power-play, a intimidation tactic, but for who's benefit Cullen couldn't tell.

Estelle turned on her heel and walked away, without even looking over her shoulder she added, "Stop damaging my keep." and then she was gone.

Cullen was dumbfounded, he wanted to rage, to smash the small cell to pieces. He wouldn't though, he still fought the tainted lyrium and he wouldn't let Estelle's mind games change that. But she had never before been so openly malicious and it unnerved him. She seemed almost unhinged. It worried him, because he had loved her, and Maker help him despite everything, he still did.

  



	5. Threats

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There are threats everywhere, against the inquisiton, against Estelle. But threats can be dealt with

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been awhile but I do have an end coming for this story, soon hopefully.

There was an assassin in skyhold and as loathe as she was to admit it, Estelle needed a way to find it. She hadn't wanted to go to Cullen her show of force still a fresh angry wound.

What Cole had said had made her doubt all that she had done, everything that she had become. But doubt was a demons tool and she needed to move past it. Envy goaded her calling her weak as she descended towards the dungeon the voice not quite fading as it used to.

That steeled her, this was the reason she put this particular plan in motion. The infected Commander would prove himself useful one way or another.

“Dagna says you can hear it.” The tone was her usual, brusque and to the point. Her posture that of agitation, “Can you seek it out? Find another infected.”

“Hunting red templars Inquisitor? You've never needed a hound for your blood sport before.”

“I've been told Fereldan dogs are the best to take hunting.” That earned her a glare. “There is one in skyhold, a rogue, a shadow. Three people are already dead, I want that monster to be next.”

At the mention of infiltration Cullen seemed to harden. He had taken pride in the Inquisition's defenses before all this and it seemed he still did. Estelle couldn't help but notice that his eyes seemed redder than their last encounter. “I'll do what I can.” he stepped back anticipating the cell door opening inward.

Estelle motioned for one of the guards to open it, when he stepped out she cuffed him herself.

As they emerged from the belly of Skyhold whispers followed. Estelle schooled her features they way she had learned as a child. The whispers didn't bother her, whispers had followed her since the conclave. At least now they weren't Envy's

It wasn't easy to stand above the corpse of a friend it had become far too common an occurrence. ' _At least it wasn't you who killed this one._ ' That thought caused the knot in her chest to tighten. ' _She was MINE, they all were. No one takes what is mine'_

Leliana stood above the body, when she saw the coming crowd she looked from Cullen then to Estelle giving the latter a worried glance as if to say ' _Are you sure?'_

Cassandra was glaring angrily as if such a stare could bring the dead back to life. Perhaps if she could the Nevarran would have never strayed from her countrymen and the mortalitasi. Estelle couldn't be sure if the bloodshot look in her eyes were from grief or from her drinking the night before.

Jana had joined the Inquisition in Crestwood, where Estelle had convinced her that it would be better than joining the Wardens. She had done so much to prove she wanted to be here and seeing the elf lifeless was increasingly disturbing. Where the bloody hole in her back had been punched tiny red crystals began to grow.

She hadn't even had the chance to draw her blade, wouldn't have know she was in danger until she was already dead. The other two victims had been a night sentry and one of the stable hands. Their deaths had been much the same as Jana's.

Estelle figured that she was the most likely target. It took every inch of self control not for her to wear her sword and shield around Skyhold. It would be weak for her to do so, it would show a lack of faith in her soldiers. It would be admitting that she was afraid.

She did her best to let the anger drown her fear but envy crept into the crevices of her mind reminding her of what it would do when she was dead and it wore her face. Feeling fear was not something she was used to. Being feared was how she'd take over so much of Thedas, it was why no one dared to openly challenge her, but now it trickled down her shoulder blades making her wish there was a shield at her back.

She had to trust that her people had her back, Cassandra was armed, and Leliana had weapons on her person at all times though you'd never know it.

_'But what if it's one of them turning on you like the rest had'_ Envy would not be quiet no matter how she ignored the demon. Despite her ever growing paranoia Leliana had endorsed most of her plans and Cassandra was far to honourbound to completely turn.

Then there was Cullen, handcuffed and unarmed with red lyrium splitting his skin.

“Well then if you can find it now would be the time.”He glared at her first than turned away stalk still. He looked as if he was listening to something. It was strange to see a distant look on his changed features, it reminded her of all the times she would find him at the window or on the ramparts staring off into the distance.

_"What are you thinking?" She used to ask "you look so far away."_

_He'd smile at her and say "I was just wondering what it would take to have you all to myself. Maybe whisk you off to the mountains, build a cabin, and raise some mabari, maybe even children of our own. No demons, no wars."_

_"No politics?" He turned and chuckled wrapping his arms around her waist_

_"Especially no politics."_

_She pecked him in the nose playfully. "Promises, promises."  they both had laughed as they basked in each others company until the next messenger came to disturb them._

That time had seemed so long ago the cottage life Cullen had dreamed up, impossible now. There was no doubt that it was his dream of a humble future, while it had been fun to ponder for an afternoon Estelle had always dreamed of a grand exciting life slaying dragons and conquering kingdoms. Even if he could make her want that life for a day he could never change what she was always going to be, perhaps that is truly why they had grown apart.

Cassandra spoke up "Inquisitor, is this really the best option available to us? We have plenty of experience with these shadows, and have never had a need for a..." she halted, she couldn't look at Cullen. "a tracker."

Estelle turned to face the seeker, her back now to Cullen. "You and I? yes we can but not all of the inquisition is similarly skilled. I need this creature found and dest-"

It wasn't often Estelle was caught off guard, but as several things happened at once she felt control slip away from her. Cassandra had grabbed her as the mark on her hand flared. She fell to the ground and scrabbled pain lancing up to her shoulder. If it was the movment or the mark she couldn't be sure. Looking up she found the seeker standing shield and sword drawn between her and Cullen.

He had moved so quickly towards her. Had he finally snapped? was this the moment when he would try to take her life? Panic tightened in her chest and as it became harder to breathe she couldn't help but peer around the seeker's boot to see the carnage.

Cullen had moved in to attack but not her. He had the Shadow by the throat slowly choking the life out of it with the chains that bound his wrist.

Estelle watched in slow motion as together Cassandra and Cullen  dispatched the creature. The glow of one red templar faded as another magnified.

She sat aback her eyes fixed on Cullen, as he destroyed his opponent the crystals beneath his skin began to swell and grow. Envy whispered ' _That could have been you.'_

For a moment no one moved. The unfamiliar grip of fear paralyzing her while envy did nothing to diminish it.

Then Leliana moved to give Estelle a hand up, “Inquisitor are you hurt?”

Estelle took the proffered hand snapping back to herself, the people needed to see control from her. Despite the pain from the pulsing mark in her hand she hauled herself to her feet and brusquely dusted herself off.

“I'm fine, thank you.” Cassandra was glaring at the pulsing red of the former Commander and the men who had brought him out stood too far away to reasonably be guarding him. “Seeker, please help escort Cullen back to his cell. You” she pointed to one of his ineffectual guards “find Dagna and Helisima tell them what transpired here and that I want a report on how it has affected their subject.”

Despite his murderous look Cullen did not argue. He placidly followed his guard to the prison while Cassandra followed sword and shield still drawn. It was very likely the seeker would be drinking heavily tonight.

* * *

Estelle needed time to think, she had set Cullen on this path for this very reason. Samson had proven effective for Corypheous, Cullen could do so for her. Although the loyalty Samson had displayed was much greater than the loyalty Cullen had left for her.

She stood on the parapet looking out at the mountains. Reminiscing on a faded dream, a time when if she had asked the man would have fought the maker himself.

She was disturbed by a knock on her chamber door. When they entered they spoke cautiously. “He requests an audience your grace.”

“Has he been attended by Dagna or Helisima?”

“Yes, your worship.”

Estelle mused, “Then he shall have it, after today he may ask that much.”

“Will you need an escort to the prison?”

“Bring him here.”

The elf stuttered briefly then ran out to do as bid, and Estelle returned to the balcony. When the prisoner was shown in she dismissed the guards to wait outside with merely a flick of her wrist, not even looking away from the mountainous view.

“what are you doing”

“hmm?” This was the first time she'd spoken to him since the attack. “Right now or in general?” He was spoiling for a fight, it seemed he'd got one today although it hadn't earned him much freedom. She would probably indulge him, Envy had become particularly taxing since the attack. Holding her composure for so long was becoming more difficult.

“you're destroying everything you've built for what?”

“I've destroyed naught but my enemies.”

“You called most of them friends at some point.”

“All of whom decided that I am a villain. Do you want me to admit to it? I have done no more than try to restore a sense of order since the world decided to fall apart” She finally turned to him.

Every time she saw him now she assessed the changes. His visage had become more intimidating of late. His shoulders had increased in girth crystals breaking the skin and removing his ability to wear a shirt. The red glow pulsed dimly even in his eyes. Despite all of this he still managed to maintain a righteous air and that had irked Estelle even more.

“You're hardly the saint they paint you as.”

“I did not choose that mantle.” She shrugged.

“And yet you took in gladly.”

“What have I done that has so grievously offended you this time Cullen? I tire of your talks of ideals. We are both well aware that mine and yours no longer match.”

He snorted “and they call me the monster.”

“Clearly you want to do nothing but antagonize me, or did you have another purpose?”

It was then that he moved, far too quickly. For the second time that day she found herself startled by his speed. He had her pinned to the balcony railing, glowering down at her with an angry red pulse.

It brought up memories of the early days of their dalliance which made her smirk. It also made her remember the day she thought about jumping. Envy too brought up that day and increased it's tirade of doubts.

“How can you be so arrogant. You don't have half the control over me you think you do.” It seemed he was trying his own intimidation tactics. “You've alienated everyone who wanted to help you, you've made me into a monster and now you think you can use me! I should end your reign here and now.” She had to admit the resonance from the lyrium had added to the performance.

Cullen's problem was he was always far too straight forward, an easy read. He didn't want her dead he wanted her to change, to get her to see his point of view. Even as her back pressed into the stone he would not let her fall. He still had too much honor for that. “Now why save me from a red templar only to kill me now? Doesn't make much tactical sense does it _Commander_ ” she let the word role spitefully off her tongue. She'd conquered the olesian game, and Cullen was no orlesian.

“Perhaps it was so I could kill you myself.”

This made her laugh loudly, which caused the mark on her hand to flare up. The crackle of electricity was enough to startle him back, and by now she had a handle on the pain. She raised her eyebrows then languorously sashayed past him whispering “promises, promises.”

The guards came quickly when called and Cullen was returned to his cage in short order.

She returned to her post assessing the mountains, Envy a cacophony in her head mocking her for dreams of a simpler life, made by a simple man.


	6. Descent

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Legends face legends, and tragedy is inevitable

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Final Chapter HUZZAH! I do rarely finish things, I even will sneak in a short epilogue just because I feel like it.**

Cullen was seated in his cell reaching for calm as the crystals in his skin began echoing the ones now growing in the walls of his cell. Waves of rage washed over him in time with the musical crescendo, It was a hauntingly beautiful tune, a little eerie bu beautiful nonetheless.

 

He had not been given a mirror since this cruel experiment had begun but he could now feel the crystals that grew along his jawline and protruding from his left cheekbone.

 

It was one more reminder of the inhuman thing he had become, and for what? The pride of a woman who cared for power over love.

 

It was as if thinking of her summoned her as footsteps echoed down from the stairwell. She was back, probably to instigate another confrontation, or perhaps he had served is purpose and she would finally execute him. More likely she was there to torture him with silence as she completed paperwork at that damned desk.

 

As he mulled over the coming punishment he realized he had missed the second set of footsteps. The Inquisitor hand not come alone.

 

His mind was no longer fully his own so it took a moment to recognize the woman that had deigned to visit him with Estelle. These days his only visitors besides Estelle were the tranquil. The second recognition hit him his divided attentions focused. She was the last person he had ever expected to meet again especially not in his current state.

 

It appeared Estelle was less than pleased with her particular visitor and Cullen was sure this was the only person in all of Thedas that would ever cause her such apprehension.

 

“Your Majesty” His voice no longer familiar even to him. He did not stand but he nodded to her as she stepped toward the bars. The Hero of Fereldan, the Lady Alanna Cousland, the Queen of Fereldan, the Warden. She peered through the bars as if searching for something in a man she had once saved.

 

While even the tranquil kept their distance the Monarch had no trouble pressing against the bars, and while Estelle looked as if she wanted to say something she didn't dare stop the woman.

 

The look the Warden gave him was the ghost of one he'd received from her many years past, though this time all it held was pity.

 

He looked away from her the pity igniting the swirling rage, if he held her gaze any longer he would not be able to contain his fury. “Do you remember when we first met Commander.” Despite everything she still used the honorific, “You were similarly contained, if I remember correctly you had kept demons at bay for days with little more than faith.”

 

It was a harsh memory a turning point for him turning him into the man that would support Merideth. One turning point led to another and now he was here, letting Estelle lead him to ruin the way Merideth had.

 

His silence was his answer. Estelle spoke for him “Much has changed.”

 

The Queen stepped back, “And yet his resolve appears intact.” the comment seemed bizarre and while the Queen walked towards the stairs both Estelle and Cullen seemed to ruminate over it.

Then he began to laugh. A harsh sound ominous in tone.

 

The sound startled Estelle who for a brief second lost her composure. She recovered quickly but it was no use her mask had cracked, and he had seen fear.

 

 

The Warden's arrival had caught Estelle of guard. The woman had been publicly absent for years now and was one of the least expected guests to visit Skyhold. Though she did hold the honor of the first Monarch to grace it with her presence. There had been no warning of the woman's arrival she had traveled discreetly with a small entourage of companions. Despite that she was a royal due her hommage and in this Josephine's absence was keenly felt.

 

While the woman protested the fanfare Estelle had managed to scrape together a feast worthy of royalty. If the Queen of Fereldan played the game as the Orlesians did it was from a rule book Estelle did not know.

 

Leliana had been a great help in this, her history with Queen Cousland was invaluable, and she spoke of her with only the highest respect.

 

There in was where Estelle's worry lay. The woman had encroached upon her territory with ease, she was an entity unto herself and everyone was drawn in. While royalty of Orlais or Antiva would have quite regimented customs and decorum this woman cared for neither. She acted more like a mercenary than royalty, refusing a seat upon the dias and insisting she mix among the troops.

 

While often of the same mind Estelle found her motive suspect, and when she'd requested a visit to see Cullen the Inquisitor felt as if she had no right. But there was no sound option to refuse so they had gone to the prison.

 

“It is a shame what became of the man.” Alone together Alanna Cousland spoke differently. With the courtiers tone Estelle would have expected of a Queen. “He had a a rough hand dealt him, but so much potential.”

 

Estelle bristled, how dare this woman speak of Cullen as if she knew. Envy's voiced reared in her head listing all the things this Queen would take from her. She held her stony mask and made a conversational tone, “He made his choice, and now he is key in combating those corrupted by the red lyrium.” He was hers to do with what she willed, the Queen's challenge would not change that.

 

The Queen sighed, “I suppose we all make our own choices, regardless of whom we hurt.” she placed a hand upon Estelle's shoulder as if she meant comfort, but her eyes only held accusation.

 

Releasing Estelle she yawned and and stretched, “If it is not rude I would retire for the night.”

 

Estelle nodded and Queen Cousland left her to her own company.

 

Once Estelle had admired the woman; it was hard not to if even half of the stories were to be believed, but now Estelle saw her as her greatest threat. Alanna Cousland was not the type to visit a mountainside fortress on a whim, her presence was calculated. Estelle had yet to find it's purpose but she would keep an eye on the wayward Queen.

 

 

He should have realized something was amiss when his jailor left, but it was difficult to notice much while they lyrium hummed through his being. He was still wrapped up in thoughts of the Warden's visit, a cruel reminder of the harsh reality of his life. Despite Fereldan's circle, despite kirkwall he had tried so hard to be a good man, to stick to his faith and make Thedas better for it.

 

Despite all his efforts once again it had come crashing down upon him this time for his love of one woman. A woman who despite her cruelties still consumed his thoughts, she was the only thing that superseded the consuming melody of the lyrium.

 

When the Inquisition began there was no signs of what Estelle would become, She had been charming but not manipulative, confident but never conceited, calculating but never cruel. Whether it was the anchor or the position of Inquisitor she had been corrupted as surely as the red lyrium corrupted him now.

 

He wasn't sure how he had missed it, after Kirkwall he'd thought he could see it coming but he had been blind. Blinded by love, for a woman too consumed by her desire for power to care for his fate.

 

“She does love you” the whisper had Cullen to his feet lyrium pulsing and teeth bared before he could recognize the speaker.

 

“It's twisted and angry, but it's still love.” The slight teen stood in ratty clothes just outside the cell.

 

“Cole!” The name was less a word and more a snarl at this point. Cullen's throat felt raw as if the crystals were scraping his insides.

 

“I tried to help, she needed you but would not listen. She blames Envy but the envy is her own.” his ridiculous hat covered his eyes but he seemed distraught. “I couldn't help, I was too late. But you can still help each other.”

 

Cullen pounded on the bars of his cage but they would not budge. “How!”

 

But the spirit was gone, as was the mechanism keeping the cell door closed. As it creaked open slowly a new wave of rage filled him and he knew what had to be done.

 

 

She should have known. The dwarf had never been without allies. However Estelle hadn't anticipated an entire army, especially so quickly.

 

She had not slept the night before, Envy fought for purchase in her mind kept at by only by the building pain of the anchor. She had paced the battlements and that's when she saw the army. Why no scout had raised the alarm was beyond her but she quickly set to ready her troops.

 

That's when Alanna Cousland made her move. It was embarrassing how easily her small entourage had defeated Inquisition defenses and opened the gate letting her King Alistair and his army in.

 

She had been betrayed, plain and simple. While many loyal soldiers fell, just as many were already fighting for the invading army.

 

Estelle had entered the fray but they had been pushed back, and now she found herself corned in the prison facing new foes, and old friends.

 

Blackwall was no surpirse, but Casandra's presence beside him hurt. Despite the Seeker's unraveling Estelle had sill considered her loyalty absolute.

 

And of course there was the dwarf, he had orchestrated all this of that Estelle was sure. She had heard enough of his stories to recognize the rivani woman and the tattooed elf with him.

 

Then there was the Warden, hero of the fifth blight, the Queen of Fereleden attempting to usurp all Estelle had built.

 

She would not let it phase her. Let the legend face her Estelle had built her own legends. She had slain armies of demons, closed the breach in the sky, even a magister who had turned the golden throne to the black city. One more army would not matter even if she had to kill every soldier herself.

 

Estelle stepped back lazily dropping her shield, “so this is how you all wish to die?” She took a stance and clenched her fist the Anchor pulsing in time with her heartbeat. “Come on then!”

 

The elf led the charge swinging his two handed blade straight for head. As he began to glow Estelle made a point to step out of his reach, while she parried his blow. She kept her eyes upon the group as a whole and as they closed in on her she seized her moment.

 

She had realized the building pain in her hand had been the anchor pulling in energy and now she released it all. Slamming her palm upon the floor creating an explosion of green light throwing anyone within its radius away from Estelle.

 

Every one even the famed Warden was upon the floor. Among the groans she heard Varric mumble something to the effect of “Thats new” The pain in her hand had lessend and now it thobbed dully. She stepped towards the nearest prone figure raising her blade to strike.

 

Estelle would kill them all, one by one and when she brought their leaders corpses to the troops she would take the ragtag army and make it her own.

 

It was at that moment when she was hit with a force to her chest pushing her back. As she began to stagger she was halted, looking down she realized the reason was now embedded in her flesh.

 

Standing before her was Cullen, nearly consumed by the lyrium. Half his face had been warped by the crystal, his skin pulling in a grotesque mimicry of Corypheus. He held hr by the sholder with one hand while the other, now a swordlike cyrstal impaled her chest to back.

 

He leaned in, an action once so familiar and intimate. “It ends here” The voice that whispered in her ear was no longer the harsh resonating twang she come to know, it was a gentle whisper of a lost time now offering her reprieve.

 

She realized then that she was tired. Tired of hiding herself, tired of betrayl real or imagined, tired of fighting whatever envy was whispering in her thoughts. Looking into Cullen's eyes she realized he must have been tired too.

 

Grabbing his waist she pulled his bulk closer, “You're right.” She ignored the squelching pain of her own organs as the crystal dug deeper, and she raised her sword with what little energy she had left. “It does.”

 

With that she plunged her own blade into his back. He showed no surprise and made no sound he simply tightened his grip as they both staggered with jerky movements. Not quite holding each other up not quite ready to fall.

 

Cullen, or what was left of him placed his still human hand upon her cheek and held her gaze. “We're both meeting the maker this day Estelle, together.”

 

She couldn't help the gurgling laugh that bubbled up at that. They stood at the edge of the gaping chasm of the prison floor. Her gaze went to the falls then returned to him.

 

“Promises, Promises.”

 

They hung together for a breif second before she tilted herself back pulling them both into empty air. Locked together in a final embrace, they tumbled down the falls .


	7. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The king and queen of Fereledan ponder the Inquisitor's fate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Mini Epilogue because I'm pretty attached to the Warden, like many of you I'm sure**

 

The battle had been won but at a cost, as all battles were. It was not hard to recruit most of the Inquisition forces once their figurehead had fallen, but still some fought with a fanatical faith Alanna envied.

 

She had never been one to turn to the Maker though much would have likely felt easier if she had.

 

Alistair stood at the rivers edge solemnly looking towards the twisted corpses still holding on to each other long past death. Alanna had taken it upon herself to ensure their deaths, she had faced too many foes that had not been stopped by such a triviality.

 

It was a grisly task beheading corpses, but both still glowed with their own eerie light and she would not take such a chance. She also removed the Inquisitor's glowing hand in hopes it could continue to help stem the tide of fade demons. She placed the limb in a spelled box hoping her own researcher could help with the task.

 

Her king had not moved watching the dead even as she secured the packaged to her horse.“Would this have been us? If Morrigan hadn't offered her ritual.” Time and rule could never harden the man's heart. It was one of the reason she loved him.

 

She stood on her toes and placed a kiss on his cheek, “For us it would have been much worse.” She laced their fingers together and leaned against him, “One of us would have been left behind.”


End file.
